> >Murphy's Law of Combat, #66:
MURHPY'S LAWS OF COMBAT
-----------------------
1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
4. There is always a way.
5. The easy way is always mined.
6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. when you're ready for
them. b. when you're not ready for them.
9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
10. If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get
out.
17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
Sun Tzu never met Murphy.
The 20 on that list is not all of them. I'm in the process of moving, so I
have no idea where my copy of this is, but let me rack my brain for a
moment...
21. Friendly fire isn't friendly.
...well, that's it. Hey, there isn't much brain to rack! I'll see if I can dig
my copy out.
Out here.
-monty
I have a list of nearly one hundred and fifty of the Murphy's laws of combat,
email me direct if you want a copy. I don't want to eat up the bandwidth of
those who don't care for it.
I would love a copy of youe list of Murphy's laws of combat if you don't mind.
Thanks
Tom
Apologies for posting that to the list, I wasn't paying attention and hit the
wrong reply button.
I've seen a bunch of different lists of these; here's the version that used to
hang on my office wall, right under the sign that said "The beatings will
continue until morale improves." My personal favorites are 23 & 24. Enjoy.
Scott Field
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Murphy's laws of combat
1. You are not superman!
2. Recoiless rifles -- aren't.
3. Suppressive fire -- won't.
4. If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid.
5. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
6. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
7. When in doubt, empty the magazine.
8. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
9. Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
10. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
11. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.
12. All five second grenade fuses are three seconds.
13. Try to look unimportant. They may be low on ammo.
14. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will be short.
15. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
16. The easy way is always mined.
17. The important things are very simple.
18. The simple things are very hard.
19. If you are short everything except enemy, you are in combat.
20. No plan survives first contact intact.
21. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
22. Incoming fire has right of way.
23. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
24. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
25. Teamwork is essential. It gives them other people to shoot at.
26. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
27. Beer math is 2 beers x 37 men = 49 cases.
28. Friendly fire -- isn't.
29. Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
30. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out.
31. Tracers work both ways.
32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly
fire.
33. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
34. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more
than your fair share to take.
35. When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they're both right.
36. Professionals are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
37. Murphy was a grunt.
On Tue, 20 Aug 1996 11:46:43 -0400 davisje@ash.crd.ge.com (Jonathan
> Davis) writes:
(snip)
Thanks Jeff!
Paul
> At 10:36 AM 8/21/96 -0400, you wrote:
Enjoy.
Scott, do you know where these came from? Do you know if they're in the public
domain? I have a friend that would love to use these in a roleplaying
supplement, but only if they are non-copyright.
> On Wed, 21 Aug 1996, Allan Goodall wrote:
> At 10:36 AM 8/21/96 -0400, you wrote:
Enjoy.
> Scott, do you know where these came from? Do you know if they're in
Not to mention someone eager to use it on his webpage...
> Allan Goodall writes:
> At 10:36 AM 8/21/96 -0400, you wrote:
Enjoy.
> Scott, do you know where these came from? Do you know if they're in
I first got them off my XO's wall in Korea. (No, not during the war, I'm not
THAT old....) Since then, I've seen several different versions, some of them
on marketed posters, most just on typewriter/ computer-generated papers.
I'm afraid that's all I can tell you.
Scott
Thanks for the list Scott!
> >Murphy's Law of Combat, #66:
Yes, I have a more complete list - there's like a hundred of them or so.
If you're interested, drop me an email and I'll paste them in - I don't
want to send them out to the whole list (unless everyone wants them!).
Yes, I'm behind reading mail.:)
***********************************************************************
Speaking of which... here's my own list. There's a lot of duplication with
other lists, but there are some on here that haven't been seen, and I'm
too tired to go back through the archives and cross-reference them
appropriately. (8-)
1. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are. 2. No battle plan
ever survives contact with the enemy. 3. Friendly fire ain't. 4. The most
dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map. 5. The problem
with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it. 6. The
buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else
to shoot at. 7. The further you are in advance of your positions the more
likely your artillery will shoot short. 8. Incoming fire has the right of way.
9. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush. 10. The QM
has only two sizes; too large and too small. 11. If you really need an officer
in a hurry, take a nap. 12. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is
directed at
abandoned positions. OR Supression Fire isn't.
13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly
fire. 14. There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at
you and miss. 15. Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone it draws fire. Out
of the combat zone it attracts Sergeants. 16. If your Sergeant can see
you...so can the enemy. 17. You ain't supermen. (Jet Jockeys, Tankers, Squids
take note.) 18. Professional soldiers are predictable; but the world is full
of amateurs. 19. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
20. No combat-ready unit has passed inspection. OR
Inspections are to readiness as field rations are to food. 20a No inspection
ready unit has passed combat. 21. Never forget your weapon was made by the
lowest bidder. 22. Try to look unimportant; the bad guys may be low on ammo.
23. If you're short of everything except the enemy, you're in combat. 24. The
Enemy diversion you're ignoring is the main attack. 25. If you make it tough
for the enemy to get at you, then you can't get out of there. 26. Commo gear
will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support. 27. Ammo is cheap;
your life ain't. 28. When in doubt, empty the clip. 29. Just because your
target falls silent or starts to smoke, don't assume you got the bastard;
that's your signal to blast him all to hell. 30. Tracers work both ways. 31.
When you've secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy. 32. Intelligence
knows everything except where the enemy is. 33. Recoiless rifles aren't. 34.
If it's stupid, but works, it ain't stupid.
35. Never draw fire- it irritates people around you.
36. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you. 37. All five
second fuses are three second fuses. 38. The important things are simple. 39.
The simple things are very hard. 40. If the enemy is in range, so are you. 41.
Beer Math is 2 beers x 37 men = 49 cases
42. Body count math is 2 VC + 1 NVA + 1 Water Buffalo = 37 KIA
43. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more
than your fair share to take.
J.
> At 10:36 AM 8/21/96 -0400, you wrote:
I'm
> afraid that's all I can tell you.
A lot of them (maybe 50 or so) appeared in an issue of Challenge (from GDW),
so I'm sure some copyright protection would come from there. I had seen some
before that article, and I've seen several that weren't in that article, so I
would think you could claim them as being in the public domain.
Alternatively, you could post them saying "The copyright status is unknown, I
claim no copyright on them as used here, and I intend no challenge to any
copyright claimed." That should cover you (at least, according to my technical
writing professor.:)
"17. You ain't supermen. (Jet Jockeys, Tankers, Squids take note.)"
Squids? Why...
> On Aug 25, 1996 09:41:13, 'Wuerthele@aol.com' wrote:
> "17. You ain't supermen. (Jet Jockeys, Tankers, Squids take note.)"
I always thought "squid" was a generic Marine Corp term for sailors in general
and "bubblehead" was a Navy term for your part of the service,
i.e.
those who go under the sea in boats and don't come back up until they glow
enough to read by. Sort of like "Airedale" for naval pilots.
"I always thought "squid" was a generic Marine Corp term for sailors in
general and "bubblehead" was a Navy term for your part of the service,
i.e.
those who go under the sea in boats and don't come back up until they glow
enough to read by. Sort of like "Airedale" for naval pilots. "
Yeah, I guess so, but the glow in the dark is handy for my solar panels for my
powerbook...
Not really, of course...
-Mike
(Anybody want a tour and passing through Norfolk? Just ask...)
> "I always thought "squid" was a generic Marine Corp term for sailors in
When? I'm only a 5 hour drive from there... ;-)
Mk
> (Anybody want a tour and passing through Norfolk? Just ask...)
When? I'm only a 5 hour drive from there... ;-)
Mk
Anytime you want. No kidding!
-Mike
Heres a few more:
56. Your job is to give the enemy an opportunity to die for his country
57. Transport and Supply often don'; Police always do.
58. Intelligence staff are named for what they seek, not for what they posses.
59. If the Military Police make you wear your seat belt, and the car parks
have reserved places, you are out of the combat zone.
60. If the Officers travel economy, the typist travel first class, and
everyone gets a medal, you're on a UN operation.
61. If the High Command says they will leave your unit alone for a while
-
don't believe them.
A revision for 61 is as follows:- If the High Command says they will
leave your unit alone for a while -
You are going to the front tomorrow.
----------
From: FTGZG-L[SMTP:FTGZG-L@bolton.ac.uk]
Sent: 11 September 1996 12:08
To: Non Receipt Notification Requested
Subject: Murphy's Laws of Combat
Alternate-Recipient: Allowed
Content-Identifier: 545015090996
Heres a few more:
56. Your job is to give the enemy an opportunity to die for his country
57. Transport and Supply often don'; Police always do.
58. Intelligence staff are named for what they seek, not for what they posses.
59. If the Military Police make you wear your seat belt, and the car parks
have reserved places, you are out of the combat zone.
60. If the Officers travel economy, the typist travel first class, and
everyone gets a medal, you're on a UN operation.
61. If the High Command says they will leave your unit alone for a while
-
don't believe them.
Forwarded message:
> From daemon Tue Oct 1 02:16:01 1996
Organization: Auckland Institute of Technology
To: HeavyGear@coffeehaus.com
Date: Tue, 1 Oct 1996 17:38:02 GMT+1200
Subject: [HGML] [NOISE] Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations
Priority: normal
X-Mailer: Pegasus Mail v3.21
Message-Id: <168ABEE0C52@nsati2.ait.ac.nz>
Sender: owner-heavygear@coffeehaus.com
Precedence: bulk
OK, a couple of weeks ago someone asked for the Murphy's list of combat ops.
It took me a fortnight, but I finally tracked down my
(hard) copy of it (moral - NEVER tidy your room, you loose
everything). So, here they are:
Originally from Ratinox's page
http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/ratinox
1. Friendly fire - isn't.
2. Recoiless rifles - aren't.
3. Suppressive fires - won't.
4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. 5. A sucking
chest wound is Natures way of telling you to slow down. 6. If it's stupid but
it works, it isn't stupid. 7. Try to look unimportant, the enemy may be low on
ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you. 8. If at first you don't succeed,
call in an airstrike. 9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery
will fall short. 10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
11. Never go to bed with someone crazier than yourself. 12. Never forget that
your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. 13. If your attack is going really
well, it's an ambush. 14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main
attack. 15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
- when they're ready
- when you're not.
16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact. 17. There is no such thing as a
perfect plan. 18. Five second fuses always burn in three seconds. 19. There is
no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. 20. A retreating enemy is probably
just falling back and regrouping. 21. The important things are always simple;
the simple things are always hard. 22. The easy way is always mined. 23.
Teamwork is esential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. 24. Don't
look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason it is not at all uncommon for
aircraft carrieres to be known as bomb magnets. 25. Never draw fire; it
irritates everyone around you. 26. If you are short of ebverything but the
enemy, you are in a combat zone. 27. When you have secured an area, make sure
that the enemy knows it too. 28. Incoming fire has the right of way. 29. No
combat ready unit has every passed inspection. 30. No inspection ready unit
has every passed combat. 31. If you are in range, so are the enemy. 32. The
only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
33. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't. 34. Things that
must work together, can't be carried to the field that way. 35. Radios will
fail as soon as you need fire support. 36. Radar tends to fail at night and in
bad weather, and especially during both. 37. Anything you do can get you
killed, including doing nothing. 38. Make it too tough for the enemy to get
in, and you won't be able to get out. 39. Tracers work both ways. 40. If you
take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair
share of objectives to take. 41. When both sides are convinced that they are
going to loose, they're both right. 42. Professional soldiers are predictable;
the world is full of dangerous amateurs. 43. Military Intelligence is a
contridiction. 44. Fortify your front, you'll get your rear shot up. 45.
Weather ain't neutral. 46. If you can't remember, the Claymore is always
pointing towards you 47. Air Defence motto: shoot 'em down, sort 'em out on
the ground. 48. Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go. 49. The Cavalry
doesn't always come to the rescue. 50. Napalm is an area support weapon. 51.
Mines are equal opportunity weapons. 52. Snipers motto: reach out and touch
someone. 53. Killing for peach is like screwing for virginity.
54. b-52's are the ultimate close support weapon.
55. The one item you need is always in short supply. 56. Interchangeable parts
aren't. 57. It's not he one with your name on it; its the one addressed "to
whom it may concern" you've got to think about. 58. When in doubt, empty your
magazine. 59. The side with the simplest uniform wins. 60. Combat will occur
on the ground between two adjacent maps. 61. If the Platoon Sergeant can see
you, so can the enemy. 62. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you
can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep. 63. The most dangerous
thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. 64.
Exceptions prove the rule, and always destroy the battleplan. 65. Everything
always works in yopur HQ, everthing always fails in the Colonel's HQ. 66. The
enemy never watches until you make a mistake. 67. One enemy soldier is never
enough, but two is entirely too many. 68. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a
magnet for mud and rain. 69. The worse the weather, the more you are required
to be outin it. 70. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever
you short on ammo, you can't hit the broadside of a barn. 71. The more a
weapon costs, the further away you will have to send it to be repaired. 72.
The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's
operator. 73. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you
need it. 74. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill. 75. If
enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything. 76. For every
action there is an equal and opersite criticism. 77. Airstrikes always
overshoot the target, artillery always falls short. 78. When reviewing the
radio frequencies you just wrote down, the important ones are always
illegible. 79. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not wnd up KIA or WIA.
80. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what
they want, but they know for certain what they don't want. 81. To steal
information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the
enemy is called gathering intelligence. 82. The weapon that usually jams when
you need it the most is thte M60. 83. The perfect officer for the job will
transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else. 84. When you
have sufficent supplies and ammo, the enemy takes two weeks to attack. When
you are low on supplies and ammo the enemy will decide to attack that night.
85. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of
Honour. 86. A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of
a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive it. 87. Murphy
was a grunt.
88. Beer Math -- > 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.
89. Body count Math -- > 3 guerillas plus 1 probable plus two pigs
equals 37 enemies killed in action. 90. The bursting radius of a hand grenade
is always one foot greater than your diving range.
91. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.
92. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of
its outfit and appearance. 93. The crucial round is a dud. 94. Every command
which can be misunderstood, will be. 95. Ther is no such thing as a convenient
foxhole. 96. Don't be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't volunteer
for anything. 97. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to
take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you. 98. If your ambush is properly
set, the enemy won't alk into it. 99. If your flank march is going well, the
enemy expects you to outflank him. 100. Density of fire increases
proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
101. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
102. The more stupid the leader is, the more important the missons he is
ordered to carry out.
103. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to
his position in the hierachy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness). 104.
There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work. 105. Success occurs when
no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching. 106. The enemy
never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured
channel.
107. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and
grenades always fall the farthest distance, the canteen always lands at your
feet. 108. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains. 109.
Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
110. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely
proportional to the distance to any form of cover. 111. Walking point = sniper
bait. 112. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is
usually a stupid solution.
Whew! Well, that all of them as of my last printout.
Enjoy.
Ciao, Drew.