Santa - Don't Mess With The Fat Old Dude

2 posts ยท Dec 17 2001 to Dec 17 2001

From: Thomas Barclay <Thomas.Barclay@s...>

Date: Sun, 16 Dec 2001 20:46:13 -0500

Subject: Santa - Don't Mess With The Fat Old Dude

Ho Ho Ho, Twas the Night Before Xmas....

To stop Santa:

Send the X-files dude and his cute sidekick. Or
maybe they'd end up helping Santa. They're kind of ambigous.

Of course, many major Toy Companies would send corporate security, since they
clearly don't want the Old Commie Punter giving away toys. That eats into
corporate profits.

Another group against Santa would be puritanical religous zealots who see St.
Nick as a bad image. Well equiped with everything except a sense of humor and
anything approaching common sense.

A group of anti-materialist protestors who'd
say that the man in the red fuzzy jams is encouraging aspirations of wealth
and greed on the impressionable young folk and that all gifts should be of the
immaterial kind. And of course, they themselves would never try to influence
the impressionable young folk, no siree bob.

On Santa's side:

Kick arse elves. These guys can manufacture just about anything. I'm sure the
sleigh they built the old man has massive stealth, PDS galore, plenty of
decoys, superior ECM, etc. And I'm sure the Elves can field some rather
obnoxious troops - probably deployed via fast-
suborbital drop. Though finding 3.5' tall PA with curly toed boots might be a
challenge.....

Reindeer who are alleged to get huge multipliers in charge attacks. The lead
reindeers nose is supposed to attract jam guided weapons... "you might even
say it glows!".

A rather large obnoxious yeti who actually is a nice enough creature when you
get right down to it. (If you've ever seen the old animated Xmas special with
the Yeti and the Snowman, you'll know who I mean). Probably treated as a class
1 or 2 infantry walker.

Just some suggestions. I'd consider giving Santa an ability to use dummy
markers, representing his ability to displace himself by wiggling his nose....
you wouldn't know if he'd be there when you fired upon him. Plus I imagine his
sled has a pretty high armour value, despite being open topped. Probably has a
force field to deflect the wind. (That old boy has to be able to move to hit
all the households he has to visit....)

And if anyone is chasing Santa, he might have picked up a trick or two
watching Ord Sarno
pod racing at ECC - lob a couple of chunks of
debris off the sled in the general backwards
direction - this tends to deter pursuers
explosively.....

Tomb.

From: Michael Brown <mwbrown@s...>

Date: Sun, 16 Dec 2001 19:16:56 -0800

Subject: RE: Santa - Don't Mess With The Fat Old Dude

That's not debris, it's coal for those "bad" boys and girls!

Michael Brown

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