Phalon ships = Giant penises!

42 posts ยท May 3 2000 to May 8 2000

From: Hans Arne Toverud Georgsen <h.a.georgsen@u...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 10:21:40 +0200 (MET DST)

Subject: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

The subject says it all really. We Norwegian players got the FB2 yesterday and
I was horrified to see the design on the Phalon ships; they look a lot like
the male reproductive organ! Some people were falling to the ground laughing
at the ridiculous design, others felt sick. Even the name is highly
suggestive; Phalons sounds a lot like "phallos". Then there is the case of the
plasma weapon mounted in the "head" of the ship which can "shoot" once every
other turn.....hmmm....stop and think about that.
Give these ships a nice flesh-tone paintjob with some veins and other
details and we're talking some serious psychological warfare! Imagine a couple
of Phalon ships ejaculating plasma all over your proud fleet! I for one would
run and hide for sure!

Oh well, at least the the miniatures can double as dildos for female
gamers. ;-)

HansA (trying to be mildly funny but still expecting some flames)

"That man has missed something who has never left a brothel at dawn feeling
like throwing himself into the river out of pure disgust."
-Gustave Flaubert

From: Doug Evans <devans@n...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 07:12:03 -0500

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

I should like to remind the list, ONCE AGAIN, that Jon Tuffley, the designer
of the Phalon fleet, had the audacity to call ME a dirty old man!
;->=

Hans, we've known this for some time, and it's been quite the in joke. To be
fair, Jon did confirm that the Phalon ships were actually influenced by the
anime' Nausicaa(sp?). However, from the name he chose, it's obvious; he DID
know what he was doing...

The_Beast

From: Andrew Apter <andya@s...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 08:17:07 -0400

Subject: RE: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
S. F.
But then again there is the Phalon
[quoted original message omitted]

From: Jeremey Claridge <jeremy.claridge@k...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 13:36:12 +0100 ()

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> On Wed, 3 May 2000 07:12:03 -0500 devans@uneb.edu wrote:

> I should like to remind the list, ONCE AGAIN, that Jon Tuffley, the
To
> be fair, Jon did confirm that the Phalon ships were actually
Hands up who's dared to field a fleet of Phalons then?

And does this mean that Viagra is a revolutionary Phalon Power source.
;)

From: Doug Evans <devans@n...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 08:03:25 -0500

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

***
Jon will doubtless give the definative answer, but I had thought they were
derived from Johji Manabe's Outlanders.
***

*blush* I'm hushing up now.

The_Beast

From: Alan and Carmel Brain <aebrain@w...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 23:10:31 +1000

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

From: "Hans Arne Toverud Georgsen" <h.a.georgsen@usit.uio.no>
Subject: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> The subject says it all really. We Norwegian players got the FB2

From: db-ft@w... (David Brewer)

Date: Wed, 03 May 2000 13:42:03 GMT

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

In message <OFC775B9C9.5AB98813-ON862568D4.00421B65@uneb.edu>
> devans@uneb.edu writes:
To
> be fair, Jon did confirm that the Phalon ships were actually

Jon will doubtless give the definative answer, but I had thought they were
derived from Johji Manabe's Outlanders. There's plenty of similar manga
artwork out there... the Japanese seem particularly prone to investing
machinery with organic (and spiritual) properties.

If they are Manabe-like, this suggests that human-scale Phalons
will look like humanoid cats, and always be led a particularly
large well-scarred one-eye captain, just like in Outlanders,
Caravan Kid, Drakuun...

From: Indy Kochte <kochte@s...>

Date: Wed, 03 May 2000 10:25:47 -0400

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> Alan and Carmel Brain wrote:
they
> > look a lot like the male reproductive organ!

And I was gonna say, other than a vague resemblance, I don't see male organs
out of the Phalons (not that I've done any 'indepth'
studies of male organs, mind you ;-) . To me they just look like
slugs I constantly battle in my mini-garden - only warty and
armoured!

Mk

From: Sean Bayan Schoonmaker <schoon@a...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 07:49:47 -0700

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> The subject says it all really.

The subject has been commented upon in the past.

From: Jerry Han <jhan@w...>

Date: Wed, 03 May 2000 11:03:58 -0400

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> Sean Bayan Schoonmaker wrote:

Though not so explicitly, if memory serves.  (8-)

J.

From: Popeyesays@a...

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 13:42:57 EDT

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

In a message dated 5/3/00 7:50:41 AM Central Daylight Time,
> db-ft@westmore.demon.co.uk writes:

<<
Jon will doubtless give the definative answer, but I had thought they were
derived from Johji Manabe's Outlanders. There's plenty of similar manga
artwork out there... the Japanese seem particularly prone to investing
machinery with organic (and spiritual) properties.
> [quoted text omitted]

Giant Penises, hmmm? Every other turn, hmmmmmmm? They don't need viagra
-
just a lot of galley slaves and one guy to keep the "stroke".

From: Mark A. Siefert <cthulhu@c...>

Date: Wed, 03 May 2000 12:58:04 -0500

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> Popeyesays@aol.com wrote:

> Giant Penises, hmmm? Every other turn, hmmmmmmm? They don't need

Arrrrrgghhh! You had to mention galley slaves....

"RAMMING SPEED!"

Well, somebody had to say it.

From: Ground Zero Games <jon@g...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 21:13:21 +0100

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> ***

OOOOOkayyyyy.... let's get this one out of the way once and for all.....
 ;-)

1) Yes, it was Outlanders. The first Phalon ship design was inspired by the
organic ships in the manga/anime - I showed the comic to Dave, who then
went away and did the first ship. The rest of the fleet were then developed
from this starting point. 2) The ships came before the name; once we realised
what everyone was going to think of them, much hilarity ensued at the workshop
while we tried to
pick a name. Think yourselves lucky you got Phalons - for a while they
were
almost the Nobboronians.....  ;-)
3) Yes, the appearance and the name are a bit of an in-joke - but don't
be
fooled by that - in game terms they will be very nasty opponents (I was
going to say they're well hard, but that would probably start all the jokes
off again......).

Alright now?

:-)

From: Popeyesays@a...

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 16:53:00 EDT

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

In a message dated 5/3/00 3:11:56 PM Central Daylight Time, jon@gzg.com
writes:

<< 3) Yes, the appearance and the name are a bit of an in-joke - but
don't be
 fooled by that - in game terms they will be very nasty opponents (I was
going to say they're well hard, but that would probably start all the jokes
 off again......).
> [quoted text omitted]
Yeah they're "hard" opponents, but what about the long-run? Can they
stay
firm for long periods of time - even in heavy action? And how about
"safe" combat are they thoroughly coated with a persistent ablative armor?

From: Beth Fulton <beth.fulton@m...>

Date: Thu, 04 May 2000 09:56:38 +1000

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

G'day Hans,

I think its the angle you guys get to see things from, from my angle they're
similar but not identical. I think they look much more like snails then a
phallus, which is why Derek's painting his fleet up with nautiloid shell
patterns and the body of a nudibranch (cream with red longitudinal strips and
violet edging).

> Oh well, at least the the miniatures can double as dildos for female

Mmmm.... how to make a comment without getting into very deep water.... lets
just say I don't think its ever going to be an issue you need concern
yourself about - for one they'd be way too small.... ;P

And as for their status as an opponent, ST^3 Tuffley has made a good point...
they're well hard with good staying power, though once you make the effort to
push past that grisled and tough exterior to reach their inner soft and giving
core... they can deflate rather quickly....

I wonder if the guy who illustrated Outlanders ever suffered this level of
good humoured derision;)

Have fun

Beth

From: Popeyesays@a...

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 20:06:47 EDT

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

In a message dated 5/3/00 6:54:49 PM Central Daylight Time,
> beth.fulton@marine.csiro.au writes:

<<
I wonder if the guy who illustrated Outlanders ever suffered this level of
good humoured derision;)

> [quoted text omitted]

Hey, he drew 'em taht way - he deserves it. But if the ships are too
small
for that utilization - have you heard why women never make good
carpenters?

becuasse, all their lives they are told this
(---------------------------------------------------)
is "about" six inches.

From: Laserlight <laserlight@q...>

Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 20:55:51 -0400

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

Beth said:
> I think its the angle you guys get to see things from, from my

No, on second thought I don't think I'm going to reply to this.

From: Ground Zero Games <jon@g...>

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 07:47:16 +0100

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> In a message dated 5/3/00 3:11:56 PM Central Daylight Time, jon@gzg.com

I have a horrible feeling this thread will run and run......  ;-)
I'll do my best not to encourage them any further.

From: Kevin Walker <sage@c...>

Date: Thu, 04 May 2000 02:12:15 -0500

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> I have a horrible feeling this thread will run and run...... ;-)

Is this thread ready for a cold shower yet...  ;-)

Sorry (well sort of), I had to get one in too.

From: Popeyesays@a...

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 03:34:33 EDT

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

In a message dated 5/4/00 2:17:11 AM Central Daylight Time,

From: Nathan Pettigrew <nathanp@M...>

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 06:10:43 -0700

Subject: RE: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

Just as long as we don't see the sometime mortal enemy, sometime close ally of
the Phalons, known as the Va... <whack>

"By the prophet G'kar, his head splattered nicely!"

<I should know better, but I've been up all night trying to fix this Media
Player issue and I claim temporary incapacity.>

[quoted original message omitted]

From: Gregory Wong <sax@s...>

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 06:58:02 -0700

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

This thread reminds me of the sci-fi movie, "Battle Beyond the Stars",
also
known as, "John-boy in Space".  Do you remember what John-boy's ship
looked like?:) And don't tell me it depends on your viewing angle.

--Greg

From: GBailey@a...

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 10:21:18 EDT

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

And to top this off, they are use in a game called Full Thrust. A name that
has always raised eyebrows from people that first hear the name (does everyone
think from the gutter?).

Do Phalon ships always operate at maximum thrust and
reverse thrust on alternate turns?   :)

Glen

From: Popeyesays@a...

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 11:32:41 EDT

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

In a message dated 5/4/00 9:22:18 AM Central Daylight Time,
GBailey@aol.com writes:

<<
Do Phalon ships always operate at maximum thrust and
 reverse thrust on alternate turns?   :)
> [quoted text omitted]

Only partial reverse thrust I should think. After all they wish to batter
their way forward to launch plasm attacks through their central mount on

targets which thrust back against them.

From: Doug Evans <devans@n...>

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 10:41:04 -0500

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

Please, oh please, stop...

;->=

The_Beast

From: Popeyesays@a...

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 11:44:24 EDT

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

In a message dated 5/4/00 10:41:10 AM Central Daylight Time,

From: John Leary <john_t_leary@y...>

Date: Thu, 04 May 2000 08:57:07 -0700

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> devans@uneb.edu wrote:

I think that it is time to call for gun control!

Bye for now,

From: Mark A. Siefert <cthulhu@c...>

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 11:12:44 -0500 (CDT)

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> On Thu, 4 May 2000, Greg Wong wrote:

> This thread reminds me of the sci-fi movie, "Battle Beyond the Stars",

        Ahhhhh yes, the ship that needed an 18-hour bra.

Later,

From: sportyspam@h...

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 12:52:46 -0400 (EDT)

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> On Wed, 3 May 2000 Popeyesays@aol.com wrote:

  *cough*  Were I to go full screen that would be something like 13+",
but in a window it is in fact about 6".:)

From: Imre A. Szabo <ias@s...>

Date: Thu, 04 May 2000 18:25:10 -0400

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> sportyspam@harm.dhs.org wrote:

> On Wed, 3 May 2000 Popeyesays@aol.com wrote:

In my window it came out to 4 and 29/32 inches...

From: Sutherland <charles@n...>

Date: Fri, 5 May 2000 07:40:46 +0900

Subject: RE: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

Does anyone remember the old game called StarControl? Didnt the Sirens fly
around in a rather suggestively shaped ship? Their special power being able to
get the opposing crew to walk out the air lock where they float around until
the Sirens swoop by to take them on board. Seems like a ready made nemesis for
the Phalons. This from the same came that gave us what sounded like "Lawn
Spiders!" every time a certain ship launched fighters. Quite a fun game
though.

From: Thomas.Granvold@E... (Tom Granvold)

Date: Thu, 4 May 2000 15:47:56 -0700 (PDT)

Subject: RE: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> Does anyone remember the old game called StarControl? Didnt the

Was this a computer game or a board game?

Enjoy,

From: Imre A. Szabo <ias@s...>

Date: Thu, 04 May 2000 18:58:01 -0400

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> Tom Granvold wrote:

> > Does anyone remember the old game called StarControl? Didnt the

From: Nyrath the nearly wise <nyrath@c...>

Date: Thu, 04 May 2000 19:18:35 -0400

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> Greg Wong wrote:

From: Thomas Anderson <thomas.anderson@u...>

Date: Fri, 5 May 2000 20:44:58 +0100 (BST)

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> On Thu, 4 May 2000, Beth Fulton wrote:

> I think its the angle you guys get to see things from, from my angle

i'd advise listers with access to a decent library to look up priapulids;
little wormy things shaped a bit like, erm, well, i'd rather not say.
'five kingdoms' by Margulis + Schwartz has a good picture. let's just
say that St^3 Jon does not have a monopoly on body plans resembling certain
components of the male anatomy:).

tom

From: Michael Llaneza <maserati@e...>

Date: Fri, 5 May 2000 12:58:22 -0700 (PDT)

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> --- "Imre A. Szabo" <ias@sprintmail.com> wrote:

Sort of:-)  There was a Star Control 3. It couldn't decide if it was an
adventure game, a resource management game, or a space combat game like the
first two. It just got confusing to try and manage everything (especially
since you had to fly your ship to where the colony you wanted to manage
was...). And
all this, and collecting clues to save the universe again. Don't pay more than
US$10-15 for this, but others may enjoy it more than I did (and I will
admit to occaoisnalkly considering taking another stab at it).

From: trapper <trapper@n...>

Date: Fri, 5 May 2000 13:26:57 -0700 (PDT)

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> At 08:44 PM 5/5/00 +0100, Tom Anderson wrote:

> i'd advise listers with access to a decent library to look up

> tom

Please, god, don't tell me your little buddy looks anything like this:

http://ucbio21.rvs.uc.edu/freshman/Bio1030/Diverse/Camb/priapulid.htm

:)

From: Oerjan Ohlson <oerjan.ohlson@t...>

Date: Sat, 6 May 2000 13:06:33 +0200

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> trapper wrote:

> >i'd advise listers with access to a decent library to look up

Probably not... but that picture does look like very similar to some of
those "funny condoms" :-/

From: Thomas Anderson <thomas.anderson@u...>

Date: Sat, 6 May 2000 20:24:51 +0100 (BST)

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> On Sat, 6 May 2000, Oerjan Ohlson wrote:

> trapper wrote:
http://ucbio21.rvs.uc.edu/freshman/Bio1030/Diverse/Camb/priapulid.htm

thankfully not - the picture in Margulis + Schwartz is much more, er,
lifelike. i would guess that the first one to be identified earned the name,
and then the later discoveries were classified with it on grounds of
similarity of not-so-evident structure (possible DNA sequences). these
newcomers, as you have observed, don't share their big brother's distinctive
shape.

by the way, though, don't be so quick to judge - not all of the members
of this list are necessarily human. however, i'm not going to ask our
ambassadorial friend to join this thread just yet:).

> Probably not... but that picture does look like very similar to some

aaah, Sweden:).

tom

From: Oerjan Ohlson <oerjan.ohlson@t...>

Date: Sun, 7 May 2000 13:48:02 +0200

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> Tom Anderson wrote:

> Probably not... but that picture does look like very similar to some

England, actually.

I haven't seen them here in Sweden yet, though I can't say I've been looking
very hard. No doubt you've exported them to us without my noticing <g>

BTW... considering the size of even the Phalon models, I don't quite
see how our Norwegian list members can describe them as *giant*... ;-)

Later,

From: Laserlight <laserlight@q...>

Date: Sun, 7 May 2000 07:55:06 -0400

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

Oerjan said:
> I haven't seen them here in Sweden yet, though I can't say I've

Editorial note: delete "hard" replace with "intently."

> No doubt you've exported them to us without my

It's the cold that does it.

From: Jonathan white <jw4@b...>

Date: Mon, 08 May 2000 08:50:01 +0100

Subject: Re: Phalon ships = Giant penises!

> Tom Anderson wrote:
Hey! On the internet no-one's supposed to know you're a dog.

                                TTFN
                                        Jon