[OT] CSAR and some other current day questions

CSAR - Anyone know if Canada has any? Or who
would get tasked with fulfilling the role if we needed it? (other than the
US!)

And on the US or European side, what transport do they use (what kind of
choppers)? And what level are they organized at (Division, etc) and tasked out
of? And how many
birds/men go out to get one downed pilot?
And what kind of off-board support should they
expect?

We have a neat scenario lurking in the almost-
finished archive at stargrunt.ca (from Los' Rot Hafen scenario, the CSAR
operation to rescue Lt. Flug, a downed pilot... I think this was
inspired/suggested by Magic). And I have an
ongoing discussion with Adrian on the subject.

Also, a related question. The reporter (yeah, I was listening to a
reporter.... shoot me) that described the 173rd's drop into the airfield north
of Erbil said they all had M4s. I saw a bunch of M4s. But I also saw a
paratrooper stuffing a belt of ammo into a pouch. So I'm assuming they also
have SAWs and presumably some AT assets. Do they just not jump with these and
get them out of supply containers when they ground? Or what?

Also, re the LVPT-7 (amtrack?), is it me or is it
a lot more lightly armed and armoured than the Bradley? (It is supposed to be
amphibious, though I've seen several stuck halfway off a road into a pond...
which made me wonder... I guess they might be tippy). And is it really meant
for long distance cross country driving (ie convoy escort)?

Thanks! And in the spirit of some sillness, I give you a quote passed on by a
friend of mine:

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the
best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany
doesn't want
to go to war." -- Unknown

And this gem regarding sailors:

HOW TO SIMULATE BEING A SAILOR

1. Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out, and live in it for six
months.

2. Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls.

3. Repaint your entire house every month (windows too!).

4. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of the bathtub and
move the showerhead to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you turn
off the water while you soap down.

5. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

6. Once a week, have your family stand outside in the backyard in their Sunday
clothes, blow compressed air up your chimney, making sure the wind is blowing
and carrying the soot everywhere. Ignore their complaints.

7. Once a month, take all major appliances apart and then reassemble them.

8. Raise the thresholds and lower the headers of your front and back doors so
that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them.

9. Disassemble, inspect and reassemble your lawnmower every week.

10. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up
to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On
>Saturdays and Sundays tell your family they used too much water during the
week, so they're now on water hours and no bathing will be allowed.

11. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you can't turn over
without getting out and then getting back in.

12. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain.
Have your spouse whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you go to sleep,
shine a flashlight in your eyes, and say "Sorry, wrong rack."

13. Make your family qualify to operate each
appliance in your house - dishwasher
operator, blender technician, etc. Document it on a large chart mounted on the
wall in your living room to monitor progress.

14. Have your neighbor come over each day at 5 am, blow a whistle so loud
Helen Keller could hear it, and shout, "Reveille!"

15. Have your wife write down everything she's going to have you do the
following day, then have her make you stand in your back yard at 6 am while
she reads it to you.

16. Submit a request chit to your father-in-
law requesting permission to leave your house before 3 PM.

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house and sweep the driveway three
times a day, whether it needs it or not.

18. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines,
and randomly lose every 5th item before delivering it to you.

19. Watch no TV except for movies played in the middle of the night. Have your
family vote on which movie to watch, and then show a different one.

20. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone
shouting that your home is under attack and ordering them to their battle
stations.

21. Make your family menu a week ahead of time without consulting the pantry
or refrigerator.

22. Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are
>having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When they
finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak,
but they can have three-week-old hotdogs.
Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and just ask for hotdogs. If they
complain about the red and green colors, patiently explain in a singsong voice
that they are Christmas hotdogs.

23. Bake a cake. Prop up one side of the pan so the cake bakes unevenly.
Spread icing real thick to level it off.

24. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly
sandwich on stale bread.

25. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night. At the alarm,
jump up and dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt
button and tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard grabbing
a pot from the kitchen to put on your head and uncoil the garden hose shouting
"Repair Three manned and ready".

26. Every week or so, throw your cat or dog in the pool and shout, "Man
overboard port side!" Rate your family members on how fast they respond.

27. Put the headphones from your stereo on your head, but don't plug them in.
Hang a paper cup around your neck on a string. Stand in front of the stove,
and speak into the paper cup "Stove manned and ready." After an hour or so,
speak into
the cup again 'Stove secured, setting the re-
flash watch." Afterwards, roll up the headphones and paper cup and stow them
in a shoebox.

28. Place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have your family stand watches
at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.
Have the junior member of your family give 12 o'clock reports. This is best
done when the weather is worst. January is a good time.

29. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, get a wobbly rocking chair, sit
in it and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous. Make sure to have
a supply of stale crackers in your shirt pocket.

30. For former engineers: bring your lawn mower into the living room, and run
it all day long.

31. Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget priced coffee grounds per pot,
and allow the pot to simmer for 5 hours before drinking.

32. Have someone under the age of ten give you a haircut with sheep shears.

33. Sew the back pockets of your jeans on the front.

34. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go to the
scummiest part of town. Find the most run down, trashiest bar, and drink beer
until you are hammered. Then walk all the way home.

35. Lock yourself and your family in the house for six weeks. Tell them that
at the end of the 6th week you are going to take them to Disney World for
"liberty." At the end of the 6th week, inform them the trip to Disney World
has been canceled because they need to get ready for an inspection, and it
will be another week before they can leave the house. At the end of that week
don't let them leave again because now they are on a fast cruise.