Good Guys(Humor) NPI Scandal.

1 posts ยท Jul 20 2001

From: Hudak, Michael <mihudak@s...>

Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 12:11:41 -0400

Subject: RE: Good Guys(Humor) NPI Scandal.

> Union of Laborers, Galactic (ULG) as well as the Amusement

GNN (Galactic News Network) Reporter Sum Ting Wong was dispatched to NPI
headquarters to receive NPI's response to these heinous accusations:

Said CEO S. Claus: I believe the ULG is misguided in it's efforts to find
fault with NPI. NPI does not manufacture any product in and of itself. Instead
(Producing a large box of holodisks), we have signed exclusive trade
agreements with all major (and minor) manufacturers to deliver their
products on the Terran date of December 24-25.  It is the respective
companies that do all of our manufacturing. Our 'Elves' are merely efficient
quartermasters who ensure that the product can be acquired in time, and
delivered properly within our duly appointed timeframe.

In fact, our large advertising budget devoted solely to this delivery day
helps out these manufacturing companies immensely, with no added cost to them.

Said General Mayhem: It is just such frivolous lawsuits and accusations that
require us to arm ourselves to commence our duty! Damn the pulse torpedoes,
full thrust ahead!

> It

Said S. Claus in reply: Our elves take offense that the ULG would use the
vulgar term 'minority' to describe their diminuitive size. The ULG has just
been put on the 'Naughty' list.

When Sum Ting Wong asked S. Claus about the ugly situation between NPI and the
Galactic Teamsters Union (GTU), Claus replied that this is merely a minor
tiff, and has nothing to do with NPI arming itself. When pressed about the
source of product for NPI's Keebler Elf cooking line, Claus responded with a
'No Comment', and abruptly terminated the interview.

> The UN Court of Intergalactic Trade Disputes has issued a

Update: As Terran December 25th is a holiday, No offices will be available to
enforce the "Cease and Desist" order over this time period....
> ---