From: Hudak, Michael <mihudak@s...>
Date: Fri, 20 Jul 2001 12:11:41 -0400
Subject: RE: Good Guys(Humor) NPI Scandal.
> Union of Laborers, Galactic (ULG) as well as the Amusement GNN (Galactic News Network) Reporter Sum Ting Wong was dispatched to NPI headquarters to receive NPI's response to these heinous accusations: Said CEO S. Claus: I believe the ULG is misguided in it's efforts to find fault with NPI. NPI does not manufacture any product in and of itself. Instead (Producing a large box of holodisks), we have signed exclusive trade agreements with all major (and minor) manufacturers to deliver their products on the Terran date of December 24-25. It is the respective companies that do all of our manufacturing. Our 'Elves' are merely efficient quartermasters who ensure that the product can be acquired in time, and delivered properly within our duly appointed timeframe. In fact, our large advertising budget devoted solely to this delivery day helps out these manufacturing companies immensely, with no added cost to them. Said General Mayhem: It is just such frivolous lawsuits and accusations that require us to arm ourselves to commence our duty! Damn the pulse torpedoes, full thrust ahead! > It Said S. Claus in reply: Our elves take offense that the ULG would use the vulgar term 'minority' to describe their diminuitive size. The ULG has just been put on the 'Naughty' list. When Sum Ting Wong asked S. Claus about the ugly situation between NPI and the Galactic Teamsters Union (GTU), Claus replied that this is merely a minor tiff, and has nothing to do with NPI arming itself. When pressed about the source of product for NPI's Keebler Elf cooking line, Claus responded with a 'No Comment', and abruptly terminated the interview. > The UN Court of Intergalactic Trade Disputes has issued a Update: As Terran December 25th is a holiday, No offices will be available to enforce the "Cease and Desist" order over this time period.... > ---