Full Metal Aqualung: Found Me A Seal

... or a Sea-mammal

Yesterday's (4/7/03) Washington Post had an article: "The Navy's
Dolphin Safe Program: Marine Mammals Go to War In Search for Iraqi Mines."

The article has quite a bit of interesting information. The navy employs
trained Seals, Dolphins, and even Killer whales for mine and even diver
detection. The dolphins have actually been used to find
harbor mines in Iraq - 6 in the first 36 hours, recent counts total up
to 22.
        Fluid Mine-Aware Sea-mammals

Here are a few nuggets from the article:

"They have a substantially greater capability to view large areas and filter
out rocks and bathtubs and junk to find only the thing you're looking for"
        - but what about the MBT's (Main Battle Tubs)?

"The dolphins are usually fitted with cameras to transmit underwater
scenes...to further eliminate false alarms"

"...sea lions can spot divers intruding on piers or ships...[they] can race up
behind divers, immobilize their legs with cuffing devices attached to a long
rope, then race away, allowing their human counterparts to drag the enemies to
the surface."
        - this sounds totally Wile E. Coyote.
        - Fast Manacle-Attaching Sealion

"The number of dolphins and Sea Lions deployed to Iraq is classified"

"Reports... that one of the Navy's Dolphins... went temporarily AWOL in
mid-mission didn't concern the Navy.'' It happens occasionally in
foreign territory. They get lost of they go off. But for the last 15 years we
haven't lost any animals.'"
        -Find Me AWOL Sea-mamal

"in Project Deep Ops [1970's] the Navy trained a half-dozen whales -
including a killer whale [to recover experimental anti-sub torpedoes in
deep/cold water]. Once they located the torpedo the whales attached a
gas generator that filled a balloon that raised the torpedo."
        -Flooded-Munition-Attaining Shamu

" The whales were able to recover objects as deep as 1654 feet, but were a
logistical nightmare to transport to the site... ' If you've got a sea lion,
you can walk it on a leash. But if you've got a 5000 pound killer whale, it
doesn't work very well."

"..the Navy taught gray seals... to turn valves underwater... [T]he Navy
dropped the project.' You spend a lot of time and money developing
capabilities... but if you use it only once every 50 years, it probably isn't
worth having."
        - Tell that to James Bond.

This is my favorite: Against allegations of animals in offensive roles: "That
tactic's flaw...is that dolphins can't discern between the bottom of an enemy
ship and one of their own: ' We don't think it's wise to give decision making
authority to an animal that might blow something
up'".
        - Snarky comments are left as an exercise for the reader.

Another rumor: The program trains dolphins "to kill using knives, poison
filled syringes, or other weapons strapped to their beaks" Fast Moving Aquatic
Stabber
        Fluked-Medic Applying Syringe

Response: "Spare Me! The U.S. Navy does not now, nor has it ever, trained
dolphins or any other marine mammals to kill, harm, or injure human beings"
        --Note the careful use of the word "mammals." This conveniently
omits the Field Munition Attack Sardines...

PETA is, of course unhappy: "'Wars are human endeavors" As is the Dolphin
Society: "[The]use of dolphins is slavery and servitude"

There's more, of course. It's a fun article.

And, of course, the article apparently completely overlooks the possibility of
the emergency
food-supply potential...

> --- Noam Izenberg <noam.izenberg@jhuapl.edu> wrote:

"I am not a tuna"

Michael Brown

[quoted original message omitted]

> El Conejo Malo wrote:

For people or for the dolphins?

There's a REASON there are no recorded attacks by dolphins: they don't leave
any survivors.