I recently sent Adrian an email about next year's FMA Sheep, and he replied:
> I have taken extensive therapy to try to remove all memory of
I suspect his "extensive therapy" and "happy place" are related to his living
next to an oversized liquor store.
Anyway, this reminded me that Adrian never told the tale of what happened at
this past FMA Sheep. The volcano was erupting, sending long streamers of lava
down the table to immolate about half the players; the Cthulhu cultist was
getting chased by a tyrannosaur; the female reporter was in the village where
the natives were doing unspeakable, or at least unmentionable, things to her;
the missionary had come down with sheeping sickness and was a fuzzy ball of
wool; natives and killer sheep and zombie killer sheep were attacking the
remaining players; the remaining players were shooting at each other and
sometimes at the natives and sheep. In short, everything was going
beautifully. The heroic British sergeant captures the Ewe N airship, tosses
the
remaining blue-beanie sheep over the side, and rescues the reporter.
Thrilling music swells as the airship lifts and races for safety. The volcano
rumbles and spits out a few more trails of lava, converting most of the
"surviving" characters into characters flambe'. And Adrian, who is a devious,
blackhearted, cunning scoundrel the likes of which I have seldom seen, pulls
out an envelope marked "For Emergency Use Only" and hands it to me.
Ahhh...the beautiful reporter was negotiating with the natives to have them
ally themselves with Germany, and maybe have the remaining stupid British
players put to a slow and agonizing death. Its not the reporter's fault that
the sailor was convinced to pick her up at the expense of other players lives.
I think I see a trend here. Chris gives Tony a character, Tony uses it to
attempt to destroy everyone in a very painful and showy manner....
Tony Finan
Chairman - Philcon 2005
"Somewhere across the water, They're storming palace gates, Scared of the
moth/flame metaphor,
We fall asleep and wait, Singing for a future but, The chorus comes too late
Because they'll tell you, Don't try this at home"
[quoted original message omitted]
> Ahhh...the beautiful reporter was negotiating with the natives
Ah, is that what she was doing with them? "Negotiating". A very direct
approach to "international relations", so to speak.
> It's not the reporter's
I seem to recall the reporter offering, ahem, "incentive" for the sergeant to
pick her up. Although I grant you that most of the other players were charcoal
by that point; the sergeant's other choices were, as I recall, dear old Sister
Agatha or the baron from Vienna (which is, we're told, in Germany, which may
or may not be in Europe).
> I think I see a trend here. Chris gives Tony a character, Tony
You're trying to persuade us that you only do that when you're running a
character in my games?
> --- Tony Finan <the_nemesis@csi.com> wrote:
Which may or may not be in Europe, and most definitely doesn't contain a city
called Vienna.... which may or may not be a little burg near 'New Jersy' as
someone was overheard to remark during the game that supposedly didn't take
place at ECC this year.
Remember, even light is shaped by the darkness that surrounds it, and the true
crafters are seldom ever seen. Welcome to the shadows kid.
> Which may or may not be in Europe, and most definitely doesn't contain
Let's just say that Eton evidently doesn't place much importance on
Continental geography...or at least the British spy didn't learn much.
> as someone was overheard to remark during the game that
No, no, this one took place. Otherwise Adrian wouldn't have the proper level
of notoriety for the stunt he pulled. And which, I note, he still hasn't
recounted.
> Laserlight wrote:
I told you all the therapy was the only answer! I told you all right
after GZG-ECC 6! But nobody believed me... nobody....
*whimpers in the corner*
(8-)
<back to massive amounts of coding>
JGH
Laserlight said:
> I suspect his "extensive therapy" and "happy place" are related to his
Not me...
Nossir.
> Anyway, this reminded me that Adrian never told the tale of what
Ok, Chris had some big laughs over this and wants me to relate the rest of the
story...
We may or may not have played in some really strange games run by Chris over
the last several years. One of the big parts of my enjoyment of these games
has been surviving. Actually, that's a pretty good measure of
success in games run by Chris - nobody "wins" (other than Chris) but
some of the players might lose less horribly. Survival is losing less
horribly. (Well, then there's the therapy required afterwards, but that's a
different issue).
I've managed to survive all of these games. I did so only by direct "divine"
intervention. In one game, St.Jon of Needham turned up (as a miniature) and I
negotiated my escape at the last possible second from nuclear annihilation. In
another game, Jon Tuffley was actually AT the
game table (sitting next to me - we had a fun time facing down Sponge
Bob
Squid Lips - Cthulu by another name - together... trying to talk Honest
Abdul out of a nuke... but I digress)... That game was coming down to nuclear
annihilation again, and I asked St.Jon for help. He, being an upright chap who
happened to be sitting right there, agreed and I was saved again.
Then came this year's event. I knew Jon was not able to come to ECC, and was
concerned that I would probably not be able to talk my way into ye olde divine
intervention again... Chris being Chris after all.
So I decided to hedge my bets.
I contacted Jon directly with my "cunning plan" and he very generously (and
with no little snickering) agreed. The result was a "Certificate of Divine
Intervention". I produced this on my computer, and emailed it to Jon who
printed it, signed it, scanned it and sent it back. I printed it out on
parchment, sealed it up in an envelope (as Chris mentioned) and took it along,
Just In Case.
As I suspected, things went horribly wrong (for the players) right from the
very beginning in the typically-insane game. Chris decided the world
really had to end (as it always does) helped along by a couple of overly
enthusiastic player cultists, the volcano erupted, and Bad Things were going
to happen. Chris gave each of the surviving players the opportunity for one
Final Action. I pulled out the envelope and handed it to
Chris...
It was a good laugh all round, and much thanks be to St.Jon himself for
his participation.
For those who are interested, the certificate read:
"Certificate of Divine Intervention
Let it be Known to all; What has been Done by the Bearer of this Certificate,
has been Done in My Name.
In Reward for Faithfulness, Loyalty, Dedication and Purity, the Bearer of this
Certificate is Granted Absolution.
In Reward for Bravery, Steadfastness, Courage and Selflessness, the Bearer of
this Certificate is Saved.
This Certificate may be Redeemed at any time by THE BEARER for one (1) free
save, escape from peril, get-away-just-in-time-from-certain-doom,
release from curses, and otherwise shall not suffer from getting nuked, blown
up, shot, stabbed, trampled by sheep, grenaded, cut, drowned, burned, run
over, dropped from great height, enchanted, exploded, crushed, pierced,
flooded, collapsed, erased, deleted, or drained of soul. Valid at any time.
By my Order and Proclamation, Saint Jon of Needham"
I'll have to see if I can get the video camera hooked up to the TV tuner
card... I can't promise the greatest footage, but I've actually got the
infamouse certificate on tape... including the presentation... I was just
watching it a few nights ago in fact.....
Remember, even light is shaped by the darkness that surrounds it, and the true
crafters are seldom ever seen. Welcome to the shadows kid.
*snip*
> As I suspected, things went horribly wrong (for the players) right
*snip*
Precious! You must have been wearing the biggest shit-eating grin ever?!
Cheers,
> Adrian, who is a devious, blackhearted, cunning scoundrel the likes of
By the way, Adrian, I don't want you to feel that you are unusually likely to
be a target of the GM next year. After all, you have enough nightmares after
running Carnage con Mutton. I will, however, point out that TomB wasn't even
in the game for FMA Sheep II, and look what happened to him.
*snip*
> As I suspected, things went horribly wrong (for the players)
*snip*
Precious! You must have been wearing the biggest shit-eating grin ever?!
Cheers,
Jerry wailed:
> I told you all the therapy was the only answer! I told you all right
Well, there's your problem. It's supposed to be "massive amounts of codeine".
Adrian said
> games has been surviving. Actually, that's a pretty good measure of
I generally don't annihilate the players. I merely provide the tools, and
they're quite eager to cooperate. I've though about putting in a device with a
button marked "Push Here To Destroy The World" and see whether we get through
two complete turns without someone pushing it. If we do, it's probably because
the players are busy shooting each other over the honor of being first to push
it.
> I generally don't annihilate the players. I merely provide the tools,
Or in my case, a book labeled "Don't Read This!"
Tony Finan
Chairman - Philcon 2005
From: "Tony Finan"
> Or in my case, a book labeled "Don't Read This!"
No, it was labelled "Things Man Was REALLY Not Meant To Know, Do Not Even Open
This Book Or Your Soul Will Be Devoured and The World Destroyed". And we
didn't get through two turns before you read it.
> > Or in my case, a book labeled "Don't Read This!"
...which led to Sponge Bob Squid Lips and the desperate attempts by Jon T and
I to acquire a nuke...
...and things went horribly wrong...
as they always do.
:)
> *snip*
It was up there with the biggest, that's for sure!
I was rather pleased with myself...
But much more importantly, everyone had a good laugh!
> By the way, Adrian, I don't want you to feel that you are unusually
This is what is known as "lulling with a false sense of security". Sort of.
You not wanting me to feel that way is not in any way an indication that I
*won't* be a target of the GM...
Being paranoid doesn't mean people aren't actually out to get you.
Me
> By the way, Adrian, I don't want you to feel that you are unusually
Adrian:
> This is what is known as "lulling with a false sense of security".
Sort of.
> You not wanting me to feel that way is not in any way an indication
More along the lines of "might as well go to the sheep, as otherwise the sheep
will come to me."
> ...and things went horribly wrong...
> This is what is known as "lulling with a false sense of security".
Sort
> of.
And I wound up running Carnage Con Queso how again?? Because of who?
(Ok,
there were two of you involved in that part)
> And I wound up running Carnage Con Queso how again?? Because of
How? Who?
You won fair and square. Chris had the most points, but used lieslieslies to
get them. He was exceptionally cheesy, bluffing out the other players. I, as
the GM, had to take a stand on such nefarious tactics, and so naturally had to
assess a penalty.
You won because you got the most points, and it is your fault.
;-)
(and do you think it would have been even remotely responsible of me to
enable Carnage Con Queso + FMA Sheep to cross breed? The ECC organizers
couldn't afford the liability insurance...)
> Laserlight wrote:
Do we have a weekend yet? gotta save up if I'm gonna be exposed.
> Jon Davis wrote:
> Infojunky wrote:
So what's the nearest airport?
And
When does Prereg start?
Tony Finan, who was surprised to find out that his 32 points of cheese won and
my 70 points did not, wailed:
> And I wound up running Carnage Con Queso how again?? Because of
I'm going to place the blame squarely on the guilty parties: you and Beth. If
you hadn't had so many points, you wouldn't have been in second place, and
therefore wouldn't have been in first place after Adrian applied the "uses the
Force" penalty. If Beth hadn't handed over her cheese to me, I wouldn't have
gotten nearly so many points. She'll claim that I used the Force to persuade
her, but she doesn't have any witnesses who could confirm that. Not any
reliable witnesses, anyway. No, Tony, you're not a reliable witness. No, Doug
"MegaCheddar Zombie Squad" Perrin isn't reliable either (Doug, before you
argue about this, I'll just say "puppies").
When Adrian and I were talking in December about my squad, I
recommended that he give me a pre-emptive VP penalty, since "uses the
Force" is highly cheesy (although there are no reliable witnesses that I did
any such thing). And I really, truly, honestly wasn't trying to win, because
after all, would you *really* want me to run both con Queso *and* FMA Sheep?
Back to back?
At the end of the game Adrian, who must've been suffering from temporary
insanity and will probably deny any recollection of these events, did ask me
if I really wanted to take the 50pt penalty or not. So I said "Remind me,
who's the runner up?", and he said "Tony's in second place", and suddenly a
bright light shone and the stars aligned, and a voice spake from the heavens,
saying "Sure, penalty, do it!" As I think you will concede that I'm not likely
to be related to a Voice From On High, obviously this was not in any way my
fault.
But if it makes you feel better, I'm willing to sign up as a player in next
year's con Queso. That *does* make you feel better....doesn't it?
;-)
> (and do you think it would have been even remotely responsible of me
Carnage con Mutton. Baabaa Wawa the Mediasheep! <cue: Mad Laughter>
> The ECC organizers
"Hi, Lancaster Psychiatric? This is Jon Davis, and I need to book a room.
Eight rooms, actually. For next February."
> Infojunky wrote:
> Do we have a weekend yet? gotta save up if I'm gonna be exposed.
Feb 24-26, 2006
> Infojunky wrote:
> So what's the nearest airport?
The nearest airport is either Harrisburg or Philadelphia. It may be cheaper to
fly into Harrisburg, depending on where you're coming from.
Pre-registration for the ECC conventions begins December 1st at
midnight.
Why midnight? The order in which I receive your preregistration is the order
you get to pick from a collection of door prizes.
> --- Adrian <adrian@stargrunt.ca> wrote:
> (and do you think it would have been even remotely responsible of me
I though it was only if the Zombies got involved as well that they wouldn't be
able to afford the liability insurance...?
Full Muenster Autonomous Sheepzies?
Everyone is allowed to create one character under the FMAS rules, modified
slightly for CCQ considerations.... and everyone is part of a team that is
trying to get the cheese away from the undead sheep?
Or is it that everyone would have to create a character sheep and whoever
manages to graze the most wins?
Remember, even light is shaped by the darkness that surrounds it, and the true
crafters are seldom ever seen. Welcome to the shadows kid.
> --- Tony Finan <the_nemesis@csi.com> wrote:
> Or incredibly right, depending on what your goal was. Now, the
Well now that would just depend on who's plan you're referring to....
Remember, even light is shaped by the darkness that surrounds it, and the true
crafters are seldom ever seen. Welcome to the shadows kid.
Discover Yahoo! Stay in touch with email, IM, photo sharing and more. Check it
out!
http://discover.yahoo.com/stayintouch.html
> I did a bit of research and the Lancaster County Mental Health
You're encouraging him.
This is *bad*
Very bad.
BadBadBadBadBadBadBadBadBadBadBadBadBadBadBadBad.
No, this is *baaaaaaad*. Anyway, they have to catch the victims, err, clients
first.
Brendan 'Neath Southern Skies
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> --- Laserlight <laserlight@quixnet.net> wrote:
Probably in the same way a hammer to the head would make him forget about the
papercut on his wrist.....
Remember, even light is shaped by the darkness that surrounds it, and the true
crafters are seldom ever seen. Welcome to the shadows kid.
Don't you mean baa-d? Very Baa-d?
> --- Adrian <adrian@stargrunt.ca> wrote:
Remember, even light is shaped by the darkness that surrounds it, and the true
crafters are seldom ever seen. Welcome to the shadows kid.
> Full Muenster Autonomous Sheepzies?
Facehuggers, Mutants, Aliens, Sheep.
> Jon Davis wrote:
> "Hi, Lancaster Psychiatric? This is Jon Davis, and I need to book a
Somehow I don't think "Early Intervention" will be sufficient for the
FMA:Sheep players...
(...well, at least not the kind of early intervention the LCMHOfEI is likely
to provide...)
> Somehow I don't think "Early Intervention" will be sufficient for the
Oh, it's possible. Despite Adrian's claim, roughly 45 of this year's ECC
attendees seem to have made it through the FMA Sheep game with minimal
psychiatric trauma.
And as far as liability goes, that's covered. The event rules include a waiver
printed on the Quick Reference Sheet: "FMASheep is an Extreme event and severe
mental trauma is a normal and expected hazard of participating. Consequently,
Players agree that GZG, the GZG ECC committee, and the Gamemaster are released
from any and all liability whatsoever for physical, spiritual or psychological
injuries sustained in or around this activity; and agree to hold harmless and
indemnify the aforesaid releases in case of claim or suit by themselves
and/or their family members, heirs, or representatives, to the extent of
any and all costs, expenses, damages, judgments, verdicts, and fees. Players
also agree not to hit the Gamemaster, no matter how justified it may be. Rules
presented are playtest beta status and may not resemble final
official rules. FMAS and FMASkirmish are copyright 1996-2005 by Ground
Zero
Games/Jon Tuffley. Baa."
> laserlight@quixnet.net wrote:
> And as far as liability goes, that's covered. The event rules include
I started reading that legalese and all I could get out of it was "Blah blah
baah baah baaaaah!"
..
Oh no, the meme has struck me!
--Tim
*facepalms*
'Ewe we go again.....
> laserlight@quixnet.net wrote:
> Flak Magnet (Tim) wrote:
That's pretty lamb...
Mk
Tony said:
> Getting eaten was not part of the original plan
I'm sorry? You bought the Necronomicon, you read it, you ran *TOWARD*
SpongeBob Squidlips... how was "Step 4" of this plan *not* labelled "Get
devoured"?
> how was "Step 4" of this plan *not* labelled "Get
Oh, he thought it was get DEVOTED! Natural enough mistake, thinking one could
receive the perks of being the parent to a living god.
The_Beast
> how was "Step 4" of this plan *not* labelled "Get
Oh, he thought it was get DEVOTED! Natural enough mistake, thinking one could
receive the perks of being the parent to a living god.
The_Beast
I can see his only natural misunderstanding, due to his being dazzled by the
possibilities. There are after all allot of *perks* associated with that
status....good apartment etc.etc.
> There are after all allot of *perks* associated with that
And the etc.! Possible car and free parking!
If only they'd realize they could be living the sweet life in the beautiful
San Fernando Valley... *sigh*
The_Beast
If only they'd realize they could be living the sweet life in the beautiful
San Fernando Valley... *sigh*
Which Elder God covers the San Fernando Valley?
DonM asked: Which Elder God covers the San Fernando Valley?
I believe that's "Sheep-niggurath"
DonM asked: Which Elder God covers the San Fernando Valley?
I believe that's "Sheep-niggurath"
So Virgin wool is the appropriate sacrifice?
> On Thu, 12 May 2005, Don M wrote:
> DonM asked:
Well, I doubt it's a BMT. You know, a bacon mutton tomato sandwich. Where the
bacon is crisp, the mutton is.... (brain hickup. quote ends.)
> Laserlight wrote:
> >Somehow I don't think "Early Intervention" will be sufficient for the
Those 45 ECC attendees wouldn't happen to be the ones who *didn't* play in
FMA:Sheep, would it...?
I said:
> >Oh, it's possible. Despite Adrian's claim, roughly 45 of this
Oerjan said:
> Those 45 ECC attendees wouldn't happen to be the ones who *didn't*
Well......yes. Mostly. We did lose an innocent bystander or two.
> Well......yes. Mostly. We did lose an innocent bystander or two.
I remember getting to ECC...but I don't remember how I got home...
o.O
OA wrote: > > >Somehow I don't think "Early Intervention" will be sufficient
for the
> > >FMA:Sheep players...
I said:
> >Oh, it's possible. Despite Adrian's claim, roughly 45 of this
OA inquired:
> Those 45 ECC attendees wouldn't happen to be the ones who *didn't*
"Early Intervention" would therefore be most helpful about three months before
ECC, while you're deciding what events to participate in.
The weak link here is obviously Jon. He must be stopped from letting those
players susceptible to such damage into those games. The rest of us can't be
trusted to do what is right for ourselves.
Tony Finan
Chairman - Philcon 2005
"Somewhere across the water, They're storming palace gates, Scared of the
moth/flame metaphor,
We fall asleep and wait, Singing for a future but, The chorus comes too late
Because they'll tell you, Don't try this at home"
[quoted original message omitted]
> Well......yes. Mostly. We did lose an innocent bystander or two.
Damo said:
> I remember getting to ECC...but I don't remember how I got home...
And Jon Davis said
> biproducts causes sever mential laps and mifiring brian funcchun.
Make that "three or four innocent bystanders". And reduce the number
of FMA Sheep winners to forty-three.
> radiation poisoning. A short dose is tolerable, but repeated and
Or from a N-ewe-clear F-ewe-sion Baa-mb.
> Laserlight wrote:
> radiation poisoning. A short dose is tolerable, but repeated and
Ok, ewe guys can knock it off now.
> Laserlight wrote:
That deserves a serious bleating from the Narn Baaa Squad
Mk
> laserlight@quixnet.net wrote:
> DonM asked:
You forgot her honorific.
> laserlight@quixnet.net wrote:
> From: Infojunky
In that resurrecting threads makes me feel like the Reanimator.....
Or
Baasicly, the whole Idea of Elder Sheep is just so wrong it's right... Weather
or not my sanity is intact is wooley another matter. The shear scope of a
conversion of the Lovecraften Mythos to farm animals is project that takes my
mind off of the concrete issues of demography on poverty that seems to invade
my scholastic and professional life. That is not to say I won't pitch "What I
did on My summer Vacation" as the title for my masters thesis, I might even
get away with it. Any ways I am working on a theory of world peace based on
the Sheep to person ratios of traditionally not combatant countries. Hell
anything is better
than the Greenbean trade......
> Doug Evans wrote:
> You consider Elder Sheep to be "CONstructive"?
;->=
Just rember don't say Pasture three times in a row you might summon
him.....
From: Infojunky
> You forgot her honorific.
You consider Elder Sheep to be "CONstructive"?
> You consider Elder Sheep to be "CONstructive"?
Perhaps analyzed as 'con' scam or trick, 'struct' build or create? ;->=
The_Beast
Not to worry. The way my mouth and fingers have been working lately, I'd be
more likely to say/type 'Pasteur' at least once, and end up with a
sterilized elder one...
The_Beast
Evyn wrote on 06/10/2005 11:05:30 AM:
> Doug Evans wrote: